


The Rain Falls Equally on the Rich and the Poor

by Foodmoon



Series: Oddball fics [26]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Butsuma and Tajima die, Crack, Dark Thoughts, F/M, Filial Piety, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Kawarama dies, Madara and Hashirama are mostly depressed and pretty much hate their fathers, Madara and Hashirama are quite a bit older than their oldest surviving siblings, Melancholy tone, Non-Graphic Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-05-20 11:28:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19375801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Foodmoon/pseuds/Foodmoon
Summary: Wherein the Senju and Uchiha brothers have dark thoughts about their respective fathers, Madara and Hashirama are over 20yrs older than Izuna and Tobirama, Tajima and Butsuma go through too many wives and kids by far and die a few decades too late, a war ends, and the author gets an unholy amount of amusement out of Madara's hair.





	1. The Quality of Mercy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ZhaneSilverman](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZhaneSilverman/gifts).



> (grumbles) Titles can be such a PITA to come up with. That's basically a biblical reference to God's mercy, and Hashirama's backstory actions towards the Uchiha.
> 
> For: **ZhaneSilverman** , whose comment spawned the idea.  
> Haha, this was probably not what you expected when I said it was giving me ideas. Sorry that Hashirama and Madara are such depressing morons here.
> 
> Unedited. Please point out any typos.  
> No idea if I'll write more on this or not, so for now I'll leave it a questionmark.

_In most iterations Hashirama and Tobirama are only a few years apart in age, as are Madara and Izuna. Places and times where Tobirama and Izuna are the second-born children, and always have been, where the brothers they lose are always only younger ones. Right up until Izuna or Tobirama dies, or even both of them do, if they happen to be particularly lucky or unlucky. In most, that is… This, of course, is not those iterations._

_~_

Hashirama paces wearily. Some days he just wants to rip his little brothers away from their father and run, to spare them all the pain, the hate, the death. _To keep them alive._ But he knows, _knows_ it would do no good. His father would just spawn more sons on more hapless women, and there’s no guarantee that life away from this endless feud would be any better or longer for his siblings. Life is brutal for clanless shinobi, even more brutal than for those whose clans are constantly at war.

He sees the weariness in his once-friend Madara, too. The ragged edge of _‘Why does it never stop? Why must I lose more brothers?’_ Both of them have lost far too many siblings to this senseless war. Half siblings, mostly. Women die too easily in childbirth, or of grief over losing their sons to early death. They’re old now, for ninja, nearing forty.

_Some days he wishes their fathers would just kill each other and be done with it, so there’s a chance of making peace._

Tobirama and Itama are from his third stepmother. He’s lost all the ones who came in between. And the ones after. Kawarama was from his fifth stepmother, the one who’s probably going to grieve herself to death, now. She’s not even half his age.

Izuna, he knows, is from Madara’s second stepmother. Tajima has just buried his 6th wife and her year old twins, victims of assassination by some other enemy. He knows they keep their sole surviving sister a secret to protect her. Knows that she’s only five; the same age Kawarama had been until he was killed two days ago.

The bitter weariness, the want to just… _give up_ , he sees it reflected in Madara’s eyes every time they meet on the battlefield, which is always. _A sharingan mirror._ Knows that the only reason either of them stay now is to futilely try to keep their siblings alive a few more days, weeks, years, to keep their clans from being overrun without them. _And they would be._ For all that their clans are strong and famed for it, it’s a stark truth that he and Madara are truly titans even amongst the strong. _If they left…_ Other clans would see it as opportunity, _would see them as weakened,_ and join forces to wipe them out.

“Anija?”

He turns to see eleven year old Tobirama studying him with sharp red eyes. “What’s wrong?”

Tobirama frowns a little. “Itama will die if he goes out like he is now. Why does chichi-ue want him with us next time?”

_Because our father is a warmongering asshole._

Hashirama sighs and ruffles the spikey white hair. “It’s okay, Tobirama.”

_It’s not okay. It will never be okay._

Tobirama stares at him for a long moment, then offers quietly, “I think I could make a poison that he wouldn’t be able to cure. If you- That is. The clan would make you-”

“No.” He puts a hand over his face for a moment and sighs again. “No, Tobirama. We don’t- We don’t kill kin, okay?”

“But then-!”

“I know. Okay? I know. I’ll guilt him into having Itama take care of Meiko. He won’t want to lose her if he can help it.”

“Why? He doesn’t even _like_ her.”

Hashirama smiles grimly. “Because it looks bad to the clan. They might actually make him retire if he has to marry _again._ And _no_ , do _not_. Just don’t. They’ll make Mito take care of her if she gets worse, and Mito… Just don’t, okay? She doesn’t deserve that, not after…”

_Not after losing all three of her children and two of her grandchildren to a war that isn’t hers._

Tobirama flinches. “Okay, anija. I…I won’t do anything that hurts Mito like that.”

He ruffles his brother’s hair again and pulls him close for a hug. “I know, otouto.”

_After all, Tobirama and Tsunade are the only two Senju whom Mito still speaks to willingly._

~

Tajima and Butsuma clash, two old men, two dangerous, dangerous men who hate each other more than any other living thing. Two men who have clashed on deadly battlefields for the better part of fifty years; two ninjas who are evenly matched, who have never managed to truly win or lose for being equal. But this time, _this time_ …

They kill each other.

Butsuma and Tajima fall and the battlefield stills for an awful moment, then Madara and Hashirama sigh in the same breath and step back from each other.

“Fucking _finally_.” Madara says bitterly, glaring hatred at the fallen pair. _Hatred that has brewed since he lost his first son to the feud between the clans..._ Then he looks at Hashirama. “Are we done here, Senju?”

Hashirama casts his eyes over the battlefield, finding 13 yr old Izuna and 11 yr old Tobirama frozen, facing each other, waiting for a signal whether to resume or retreat. Sees the weary resignation and bitterness predominant in so many faces, both Uchiha and Senju faces. “Yes. We are. Let the Senju and the Uchiha have peace. Let us see our siblings and grandchildren grow up without dying.”

“Agreed. I’ll have a treaty drafted and sent. A _fair one._ You’ll make sure our crops don’t fail?”

“I always do.” He agrees, because he has. Without him, both clans would have starved to death by now, too eaten up with hate and spilling blood to put proper effort into maintaining overworked cropland properly. A few glares, a few stares of astonishment come his way, but really… _not very many_. Most of both clans have worked it out long ago.

Madara nods. “Yes, you do.”

Then the Uchiha retreat with their dead, and Hashirama signals for the Senju to do the same. _Is it selfish to hope that for his sake, for Madara’s sake, that the remaining warmongers among their kin will be intelligent enough to keep their tongues still for once?_ Mito will certainly have no qualms about _removing_ the Senju ones, and he knows his friend well enough to know that only filial piety has stayed his hand against the Uchiha ones all these years. _Well, it’s not as if he is not the same. It’s just that he owes Mito that pleasure for all the pain she’s suffered._

~

Madara waits until they’re home, as safe as they can be, far from the Senju, hopefully far from other enemies for the moment. Waits until the others have scattered to their homes before he finds a tree and leans his forehead against it.

He knew of course. Had always known. It was hardly a difficult thing to guess.

_One day he’d encountered Hashirama at the river, the place they always went to grieve. Not the first time, certainly, nor the last. And there were oh so, so many to grieve for. **It never stopped**. _

_Hashirama, a tiny dark-haired child in his arms, had eyed Madara, taking in how Taki at his side was too thin for a two year old, how the babe against his shoulder was too still, too silent, the hollows in Madara’s face that weren’t **just** from grief and stress. He hadn’t said a word, merely gone back to contemplating the river, letting them all pretend that they’d never crossed paths in the first place. And the next day, the Uchiha crops, sparse and sickly and failing despite all their best efforts suddenly started growing instead of dying. _

_Coincidence?_

_Not even Tajima thought that. Funny how the urging to kill his old friend had abruptly died off after that. Even those who denied it **knew**._

_The Senju wouldn’t have **had** to kill them. All they would have had to do was step back and let the Uchiha starve through the winter and there wouldn’t have been enough of them left to fight back. And they **would have,** except that Hashirama took pity on them, because he can’t stand letting children die. _Because he dreams big, impossible dreams, where all children survive to be healthy, happy adults and live in peace. Because unlike Madara, the big sap doesn’t know how _not_ to give when he can.

No, he’d known. But hearing it? Yeah, he really hadn’t expected Hashirama to admit to it in front of both clans. Hadn’t expected the almost total lack of surprise from the Senju on the field. He’s not sure if it means that they knew all along, or if they’re just so familiar with Hashirama’s innate kindness and so tired of the interminable war that they simply don’t _care_ if it means the war will end now. Maybe the Senju are as weary of Butsuma’s leadership as the Uchiha are of Tajima’s.

 _Were. They’re both dead now._ Something he needs to remember.

“Aniki? Are you-? Are you okay?”

_Izuna._

He straightens and turns to give Izuna a tired smile. “I’m fine. How did Saiyaka react to the news?”

His otouto smirks. “Well, considering she started laughing and then started making plans to publically burn the body so the kamis will be convinced to keep him, I’d say she’s happy about it. Your wife is a scary, scary woman.”

 _Riiiight. That’s hilarious._ Saiyaka’s the gentlest woman he knows. She just hates, _hated,_ his father even more than _he_ ~~does~~ did. Madara nods. “Sounds like a good idea. Amaratsu, just to make sure. We can pass if off as making sure no one tries to steal his body.”

A headshake of amusement, then Izuna’s expression becomes more solemn and uncertain. “Aniki… Is it bad that I’m- I’m sad he’s dead? I mean he-he’s- I know you-”

Madara sighs and pulls him in for a one-armed hug, mussing his hair with the other hand. “No, otouto, it’s not wrong. I have-had…a lot of reasons to hate him, but Tajima is-was still our father. It’s okay if you grieve for him. For all his faults, he did love us. Not enough to see peace as a good thing, but as much as he was capable of.”

Izuna hugs him back, burying sniffles against Madara’s breastplate for a few moments, before gathering himself and pulling away, then giving an exaggerated squawk and flailing. “Not the hair, aniki! I don’t want my hair looking like _yours!”_

He narrows his eyes. His siblings are a little _too fond_ of hair jokes. It’s hardly _his_ fault that his looks like he has some blood relation to porcupines. “You’re just jealous that your hair can’t look as magnificent as mine even when you _try._ ”

 _Which is true, incidentally. Izuna had tried applying a lightning jutsu to his hair when he was nine in an effort to mimic Madara’s hairstyle._ The result had been a severe case of static for the next week and a half, paired with smelling slightly scorched for a few days. For _Izuna_ at least. _Madara’s hair, on the other hand…_ He had managed, just barely, to keep Izuna from frying his own brain with the jutsu, ending up with burn marks up his arms and neck for his pains, and proof that his hair _can_ and _will_ double in volume if provoked. His pillow had caught on fire _twice_ before the random sparking had worn off five days later. _Izuna had been categorically banned from using lightning jutsus ever again._

“Yeah, yeah, you keep telling yourself that, aniki.” Izuna taunts, then darts off laughing.

 _Little brat,_ he thinks fondly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sadly, the children in the scene Madara is remembering are all long dead by this point, just not of starvation. The babies were their own children, Taki was one of Madara’s brothers.  
> Madara is not coping as well with his father dying as he thinks he is, but the negativity he has towards his father is quite genuine.  
> Incidentally, Izuna sulked for over a month, not over the ban on lightning jutsus, but the proof that his hair type and Madara’s are _very_ different. _(I’m blaming the difference on having different mothers.)_ Madara already knew this, of course, since _Izuna’s_ hair is actually manageable and _doesn’t_ dull blades when trying to cut it. He basically gave up on keeping it shorter a couple decades earlier, and now only has his wife or someone with a handy knife even it up if someone gets close enough in to take a chunk out of his hair in a fight, or a particularly bad snarl of hair vs. plant life happens and he has to be cut free. Naturally, neither is a terribly common occurrence. And while his hair has a relatively low tangle incidence rate, getting tangles out of Madara’s hair without annoying him badly by yanking on it is considered punishment duty within the clan.
> 
> There’s around 25yrs (more or less) between Madara (nearly 40) and Izuna (13), Hashirama (nearly 40) and Tobirama (11). It’s not exact. I definitely didn’t double check ages or anything, just remembered that Izuna’s slightly older than Tobirama in canon, and Madara and Hashirama are presumably about the same age.  
> I actually don’t know if Izuna and Tobirama were the second-born sons or not, canonically, but it seems to be the general consensus of fanon, at least.
> 
> Madara has left: His wife Saikaya (OC), one daughter (OC), one brother (Izuna), and one sister (OC), and a couple young grandchildren (OCs, _but speculatively canonical as Obito uses terminology that implies Madara was a direct ancestor),_ as well as (all OCs) a couple nieces and nephews running around from now-deceased sibs and half sibs who managed to reproduce before dying.
> 
> Hashirama has left: His wife Mito, 2 brothers (Tobirama and Itama), and his granddaughter Tsunade, one half-sister (OC) who married into a different clan and has a few kids he’s never met, as well as (all OCs) a couple nieces and one nephew from various half sibs.
> 
> This is kind of a _‘what if Kishi’ hadn’t been so hung up on having everyone so close to the same age?’_ fic. Because to start with, it would require that Tajima and Butsuma survive 2-3 more decades than they did in canon for it to work out, which would have changed a lot of things. Including Madara’s and Hashirama’s options in life. I’m fairly sure the culture of ‘extreme filial piety’ would’ve been around in the Warring States era, so I kind of coopted that to explain Madara’s and Hashirama’s lack of acting to remove their fathers despite being thoroughly disillusioned. And I won’t do Tajima and Butsuma the disservice of assuming that they were abusive, horrible fathers just because they came up with vicious war tactics and refused to consider peace as an option.  
> It’s a cruel reality that war changes outlooks, and generational feuds can be even worse sometimes. There’s definitely a huge component of ‘them against us’ and dehumanizing the enemy to allow atrocities to be ‘okay’. For those raised to it, there can be a complete lack of consideration that it’s even ‘wrong’ to begin with. Now consider, Tajima and Butsuma were the ones who started the child killing, so it wasn’t an established tradition per se. Canonically, Madara and Hashirama were still young when their fathers died, so their own children were probably too young to fight, if they were born yet. Watching your siblings die is one thing. You can blame it on the war, on the enemy. But watching your own children die and realizing that it was your own father who started the traditions that made it ‘okay’? That’s devastating. Yeah, I’m pretty sure Hashi’ and Mada’ would’ve taken that hard.  
> And Izuna’s and Tobirama’s attitudes towards their fathers were affected by their big brothers’ attitudes. Because Hashi’ and Mada’ would’ve picked up slack in childcare when Butsuma and Tajima were too busy with clan matters. Well, their wives would’ve at least, but it has a way of spilling over. It wouldn’t necessarily have been the case with all their sibs/half-sibs, because some of the women survived longer than others, and naturally would’ve done the majority of childcare for their own children while they were alive. And Mito and Saiyaka would’ve had an influence, too.


	2. Of Trees, Ponds, and Koi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The treaty has been signed, Hashirama and Madara hash out details for their prospective village, meanwhile Tobirama and Izuna take on the 'crying tree' and koi relocation efforts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a fluff chapter. Mostly about koi.

Izuna shifts uneasily under his rival’s red-eyed gaze. Red eyes just look _wrong_ without tomoe spinning in them. He’d always taken it as a sign that Tobirama is pure evil, a pale mockery of his clan sent by some evil kami. But somehow Tobirama looks remarkably less evil when he’s not actively trying to kill Izuna or one of his kin. In fact, he mostly looks vaguely curious as he stares at Izuna.

“You…”

“What?” Izuna snaps impatiently when he trails off.

“It’s just…you don’t really look like your brother, except for your hair. Your hair makes it _really clear_ that you’re brothers.” He pauses, blinking a few times, then adds in a blank tone that states how very clearly he is adding this because he’s been told to, not because he understands why he should, “No offense intended.”

 _And that…_ Well, _no one_ has _ever_ admitted that his hair is _anything_ like his aniki’s. “Hn.” He says smugly, then leans forward and pats his rival’s hand, elaborating, “You are my best friend _ever._ ”

Tobirama looks deeply wary at this. “Um…thanks? Is this some odd Uchiha ritual?”

Izuna grins at him. _No wonder aniki is friends with the loud one. Who knew Senju demons could be this much fun?_ “Yes, it means we’ll do lots of things together. Fight, spar, drink, eat, you know. Annoy our brothers and get tossed in the pond.”

His rival blinks slowly a few times, then the red eyes light up with unmistakable envy. “You have a _pond?_ ”

“You don’t?”

Tobirama droops. “We used to, then anija got sad at it and now there’s a crying tree over it. One can see flashes of the koi sometimes through the roots, but there’s no way to get to the water.”

Izuna’s eyes widen and he shivers. “I guess your brother does some creepy things, huh? Does the crying keep people awake at night?”

Hashirama makes a sound of exasperation. “It’s a weeping willow, not a _‘crying tree’_. And it’s there because Tobirama thought drowning himself in it as a little gaki was highly entertaining.”

“Anija! I can swim!”

“Well you couldn’t then. If you want your own personal pond, go make one. It’s not as if you’re not capable of it.”

Red eyes widen, then light with unmitigated glee.

“Yes, anija.” Tobirama says in a polite, obedient tone that makes Izuna grin as he recognizes it as the prelude to entertaining chaos in the near future.

“Want some help planning it?” Izuna offers. “I can show you our pond. And you can show me your crying tree. I’ll bet we can come up with something even _better._ ”

Tobirama nods slowly. “Mito-nee has been teaching me fuiinjutsu…”

~

Madara stares after the unlikely pair, glad that the treaty has already been signed and they’ve just been discussing details for the new village they’re planning. “That…I did not expect. I feel like I should apologize ahead of time for the damage that will happen.”

“Don’t worry about it. I can fix anything they break.” Hashirama waves it off with a grin. “Besides, I’m glad to see them being friends. Tobirama was convinced that Izuna hated him.”

“I think Izuna was convinced of that too. He’s always claimed that Tobirama is some kind of malicious ghost sent by an evil kami to mock him.”

“Because of his coloring? He got that from his mother. Itama has a bit of her coloring too.”

_Like he cares?_

He sighs. “So, whose pond do you think they’re going to empty of koi for their new pond?”

Hashirama winces. “Hopefully one or the other. The koi in mine could probably swallow a baby whole at this point. I don’t think your koi would be likely to fair much better. I’ll replace yours if they do that.”

Madara sighs again and resigns himself to losing his carefully tended stock of fancy koi. It’s not as if it’s the first time one of his siblings has been responsible for the extinction of his fish. _Fortunately_ , Izuna knows better than to bother the _other_ ponds, the one with the koi gifted by the Fire Daimyo and the one reserved for his breeding stock for gifts _to_ the Daimyo. Having to explain to the Daimyo how his gift had met fiery demise because a rambunctious child was _not_ something he wanted to have to do more than once. _Fortunately he’d chosen to be amused the first time, but Madara doubts that his good humor would stretch to a second time._

~

Mito watches with crossed arms as her meticulous brother-in-law and her idiot husband’s best friend’s little brother work together. Frankly, she doesn’t like or trust the Uchiha clan, but on the other hand, she feels pretty much that way about the Senju at this point, too. And with her standing here, the clan will avoid doing something stupid, such as attacking Izuna Uchiha. Because her idiot husband and his moronic best friend _do_ have one thing right. This treaty should have been made and kept _decades_ ago. _Before-_

She cuts off that train of thought ruthlessly. Dwelling on the past will not bring back her dead.

“Obaa-san? What are they doing?”

“Something very silly, Tsunade. They’re trying to free the fish that live under the tree.”

Quite honestly, they’re doing a good job of it. Tobirama made a holding pool and filled it with a suiton, then dug most of a trench between the pool and the tree with doton, and now Izuna is burning off the stubborn feeder roots that had stayed behind when the doton had removed the dirt.

“Is it bad to free them? Will ojii-san get mad at them?” Tsunade asks as they watch the boys use their knives to hack at the last few roots with knives, the trench filling with muddy water as they do.

“No, dear. It’s not bad. It’s _silly_ , though, because-”

The boys jerk back with yelps of shock as one of the long-trapped koi tries to eat their faces off as it spies freedom.

Mito snickers. “Because the fish have gotten very large while living under the tree, and have forgotten that there’s more things than food in this world.”

“It tried to eat Tobi-oji!” Tsunade exclaims in shock.

“I’m sure it just got overexcited at being able to go somewhere new, dear. Koi are very gentle fish.” Mito soothes. “They don’t even eat other fish.”

“Nuh-uh! It tried to eat Tobi-oji! It’s mean!” Tsunade stomps her foot and pouts as dramatically as a chubby 6 year old can manage.

“No it’s not. Look, it’s letting them pet it now.” _Well, letting Izuna pet it, at least. For a given value of lunging at his fingers every third stroke._ Tobirama is dividing his attention between giving it leery looks and coaxing the other koi out into the trench and pool.

“Obaa-san! No, it’s trying to bite Spiky!”

“His name is Izuna, Tsunade. Don’t make up weird nicknames.”

Izuna looks up and grins at them. “Tsuna-chan! Do you want to pet Madara-fishy?”

Tsunade gives him a leery look. “It has a name?”

“Yup! See, its pattern looks just like my aniki’s hair, and it’s even got the Uchiha fan on its head! It even acts like aniki, pretending it’s mean but actually really sweet and friendly. So it’s Madara-fishy! Isn’t that cool? I can’t wait to see my aniki’s expression when he meets his namesake!”

 _That’s the most hilarious thing Mito’s heard in years._ “Go on, Tsunade. Izuna’s aniki raises koi, so he knows what he’s doing. You’ll be safe with him, I’m sure.”

Seriousness flashes in Izuna’s eyes for a moment as he hears the underlying threat that she keeps out of her tone. “Of course you’ll be safe with me, Tsuna-chan! Safe as houses. I promise.”

Mito raises a brow at a passing Senju, who eeps in dismay. “Go get a bucket of kitchen scraps suitable to feed koi.”

“Yes, Mito-sama!” The Senju scurries away hastily.

She gives Tsunade a little shove of encouragement and paces towards the holding pool, which is now full of curious koi, though many of them are taking full advantage of the trench to go back and forth between this new place and their accustomed habitat. Even the smallest ones are big enough to eat and most of them are simply huge, while Madara-fishy is an absolute _monster_ , a good half foot longer than the largest ones in Uzushio’s public koi pond. And Uzushio’s koi are the largest she’s ever seen.

Her stupid husband’s _‘crying tree’_ , as Tobirama likes to call it, must have had some chakric effect on the koi. Not _too_ surprising, given that it’s created out of almost pure chakra, she supposes. The weeping willow is probably two or three times the size of any naturally grown tree she’s ever seen of the type, which is _quite_ large, given that weeping willows love water and are large, ramshackle trees when at all happy. Its roots cover the original koi pond in an unnaturally tight weave that even the smallest tot would be unable to slip through, but still allows air and sunlight to penetrate here and there, and insects to thrive, serving as prey for the koi. Hashirama hadn’t wanted to _kill_ the fish, after all.

The Senju reaction to the tree had been…mixed. Mothers grateful that they didn’t have to worry about small children drowning in it the moment their backs were turned, Tobirama’s rage at being separated from his beloved water _(that had been cute)_ , and those who liked eating fish annoyed that they had to go to the river to catch fish now. _Come to think of it… It would probably be inappropriate to let someone eat Madara-fishy, given that Izuna has noted that its coloration effectively gives it a miniature Uchiha crest._ She sighs, then smiles. Well, it will challenge her seal making skills, creating fuiinjutsu designed to protect the boys’ new koi pond from opportunistic predation.

And to keep people from drowning. _No one_ needs another Hashirama Willow-covered koi pond. One is _plenty._

~

**_“Izuna Uchiha!”_ **

The shriek of utter rage has Izuna contemplating running for his life, but then he remembers that Madara is a sensor and absolutely _relentless_ when furious, and decides that explaining is probably less hazardous. Nervously, he slinks into the garden and over to where Madara is fuming. “Yes, aniki?”

**_“Where, exactly, have my koi disappeared to?”_ **

He winces at the volume. “Oh, that. Mito-hime finished up the seals on the koi pond for the village, so we moved them there to be with Madara-fishy.”

**_“‘Madara. Fishy.’”_ **

Izuna beams. “Yes! He looks _just_ like you, aniki, so I _had_ to name him that. Besides, he even has the Uchiha fan on his head! You’ll love him! Do you want to meet him now? Oh! And you can even fuss over the other koi and make sure they’re fine. I even got Mito-hime and Tobirama to make it so your special breeding stocks are separated from the others, because I know you’d be upset if they bred with the Hashirama koi and messed up the patterns on the spawn.”

_“‘Hashirama. Koi?’”_

Oh, good, the rage level has dropped a little. Izuna relaxes his tense ‘ready to flee’ stance and wanders over to stand closer to his brother. “Uh, yeah? I mean, we think the crying tree affected them somehow? They’re all _huge._ And Madara-fishy is the biggest one. I swear, aniki, he acts _just_ like you. He likes to pretend he’s mean, but he’s super gentle with the kids, never scares them and lets them pet him like he’s some sort of giant, scaly cat. Tsunade-hime is like his all-time favorite, though. Even if there’s other kids there, he’ll go straight to her. Oh, and Mito-hime said that she can adjust the containment seals if you want them different.”

“Izuna?”

“Yes, aniki?”

Madara tosses him into the empty koi pond, ignoring his flailing and shriek of protest.

He surfaces with a scowl and spits out pondweed, noting in disgust that Madara has managed to avoid getting even a drop of water on himself. “Aniki, that was _mean!”_

A smug smirk greets this complaint.

“I’m sure the three of you will be happy to show me and Hashirama your new creation, otouto.”

Izuna winces mentally as he remembers why Madara is angry. “Yes, aniki. You especially, because no one knows more about koi than you do. And Tobirama said something about _making sure_ Hashirama doesn’t grow any trees in it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is Madara-fishy: <https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQoMdoejw-g625MxZw0shocU3lB5nsRbC1ZyVTRPiLsH8-ztsoQGw> Only, y’know, bigger and weirdly aggressive for a koi.  
> Basic koi faq: <https://www.petmd.com/fish/care/evr_fi_facts-about-koi-fish>  
> Madara knows koi aren’t mean and don’t eat other fish, but he might trust Hashirama’s assessment a little too much in this instance. He’s also thinking that it’s more likely that Izuna and Tobirama will accidentally kill the fish while trying to transport them than that the Senju koi will eat his. And that he wouldn’t be surprised if Senju variety koi were inexplicably mean.  
> And some irl koi fluff, courtesy of Sectordweller finding it for me: <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u92EQRHZq5Y>  
> **Note:** Do **not** handle fish directly if you can avoid it, as you can damage their scales and leave them vulnerable to infection and disease. Fish like koi tend to be hardier, but it’s still **not** a good idea in most cases.  
> My friend Gabranth reminded me to mention that koi are the fish associated with ascending into dragons.  
>  _(Also, if you find mindless, repetitive games soothing, Zen Koi is a very nice free phone game. Basically, one uses the fish to chase bugs around a pond, grow the fish, level it up, breed it, and ascend it into a dragon.)_


End file.
